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big, happy & handsome!

Mommy’s Angel

Today marks one week since I became an angel. Mommy misses me terribly, but knows that she did the right thing because she asked me to let her know if I ever got too tired and needed help going to the spirit world. Last Friday I gave her the sign that she’d never spoken, but I knew because I’m her best friend. She didn’t believe it because I seemed okay. I had lost sight in one eye from a tumor, but I was still having fun. In fact, the next day we went on my first cruise back in that magical Annapolis  where I did my photo shoot for Super Zeus Day and I wore my superhero cape again and everyone loved me so much. It was amazing! I love driving with the windows down so this was like that x 100! Mommy used to laugh because every time she thought I had fallen asleep in the car, she’d peek in the back seat and my head would pop up facing the breeze from the window. I was even running around later that night, but then it happened in the wee hours of Sunday morning, my body just couldn’t handle all the stupid tumors and I became distressed and couldn’t open my eyes.

I know it was really hard for mommy, she promised I would NEVER EVER suffer- that I would always have my dignity because she loves me so much. After watching me struggle into the night restlessly wandering and unable to control my eyes, getting hot, panting she took me to the hospital and helped me cross over. The doctor told her that a tumor may have gotten to my brain and wasn’t allowing me to control my eye function and mommy knew then that the newest chemo- our last option wasn’t working. She brought my blanket & pillow and held me- she kissed and pet me for a really long time. She knew it was the right thing, but it didn’t make it any easier. I had finished my bucket list and it was time to run free.

We’d eaten snickerdoodle cookies, went and visited all my friends (physical therapist, baker, next door neighbor), snuck me extra whimzees, done a photo shoot, tried ice cream, went to the beach, made a nose mold for mom’s necklace, done paw prints with my brothers, snuggled…. I’ve been sending mommy messages from the other side- lots of them, but she still says she just wishes she could hold me again;  that I am the happiest, sweetest, strongest pup she’s ever known and my uncontainable joy filled the house and her heart- she says it’s just too quiet now.

My brothers and my best friend went with mommy to the memorial site last week. My brothers sniffed me and know that I’m their angel now- imagine that, their baby brother is now their protector. My burial will be on Tuesday. Mommy brought my superhero cape, pillow, blankets, toys and a letter for me. The Fur Angel Blessing Blanketeers made a very nice turtle blanket for me, but I crossed over before it arrived- it actually came the night before mommy’s visit to my memorial site now it’s a memorial blanket for mommy.  Her nose necklace also arrived when she came home with my brothers from visiting. She really loves it because I used to run and jump on the bed in the morning and trample her and shove my giant mastiff face in hers and sniff her really hard and loud- she’d pet my wrinkly face and sometimes laugh- then I’d run off or lay at the end of the bed- hey gotta make sure it was mommy and not a fake mommy double!

I hope that I remain an encouragement to all the pups and families facing osteosarcoma- that there is life after a cancer diagnosis, life after becoming a tripawd and that every day of my “extra time” was priceless. Mommy says it’s kind of hard knowing what to do now, because for the last 7 months she was with me all the time: at my doctor, at my therapist 2x a week, at my chiropractor, taking me to the bakery, giving me my medicine, sitting with me cuddling every night… I told her that my brothers need extra love now because they were so kind to share mommy with me so much. My big brother Jasper is very sensitive to mommy and he comforts her a lot. He patted her on the head when she came home last week and held her licking the tears off her face. She needs him. He also comforted me after my amputation. My other brother is a little crazy, but he was the best – always playing with me- teaching me bad things haha and he didn’t mind if I bumped or pushed him on accident or even if I accidentally sat on him.

Mommy is working on a remembrance garden in the backyard. I hope it makes her feel better. I am always with her, but if she wants to have a special spot I think that’s great. I hear every word she says to me and just wish I could make her sadness go away. Everyone tells her she was the most amazing mom in the whole world and that’s what I think too, she knows that, but she always says that she just wished God would have let her have me a little longer- that 1.7 years was much too short. She was watching the Long Island Medium when something struck her- Theresa said to someone else that the reason they were so inseparable and had such an intense connection with their family member was that their soul knew they had a limited time together on earth  – that’s what happened with mommy and I.

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8 Comments

  1. hester

    Zeus, you were an incredibly spirited Warrior as a Tripawd here on earth and I know you are now a spirited Angel watching over your Mom at this very hard time for her.

    Lisa

    • zubear

      ❤️

  2. jerry

    Ohhhhhh Zeus, my heart broke when I started reading, I had to read it twice because I just didn’t want it to be true.

    I am very sorry you had to leave this earth, you were just a kid and it breaks all of our hearts knowing your momma and the pack are so sad right now. We are too. It’s hard losing an amazing warrior like you. But in a sense, we will rememer that didn’t really lose you, because you will ALWAYS be a part of this community. You found us and once you’re part of the Tripawds Nation, you are always a part of it.

    Yes, you will absolutely keep inspiring others to be Super Dawgs and Kitties too, if cancer comes around. You showed us how to live our bucket lists every single day and show the people around them how much they mean to us. As an angel, your message will always go on to heal and help so many.

    Still, it’s hard losing a buddy. If your humans want to talk, we are here for them OK? I know you’ll keep sending signs to help them too. You’re smart that way!

    Love you Zeus. You will always be our hero and we’ll see you on the other side. xoxo

    • zubear

      💕🐾

  3. linda8115

    Zeus I’m so sorry you had to earn your Angel wings! You sure did know how to bring out your Mama’s beautiful smile didn’t you? I know you’re still watching over her and guarding her from the heavens. Im sending Mom healing light and peace and many hugs that as her heart heals her memories of her magnificent boy will bring back that smile some day!

    • zubear

      😊🌺💕

  4. benny55

    My dear Happy Boy Zeus, and make no mistake aboutnit, you were ALWAYS a happy boy with your loving human by your side!!
    I’ve put off writing because the tears get un the way. Well, they aren’t gping away as I write now, but I wanted to make SURE I am fully present here to CELEBRATE the GLORIOUSLY HAPPY BOY ZEUS!! 🙂

    Soooo many of our beloved heroes headed to the Bridge rece tly….soooo many. Oir hearts broke over and over again. We cried over and over again. An then our HAPPY BOY ZEUS joined June’s Angels. Another layer of grief was added to our hurting hearts when our very, very special Zeus had to head to the Bridge. I absolutely adore that boy!

    That stupid piece of crap disease could NOT touch Zeus’s happy Spirit!! It could NOT invade his Soul!! And it could NOT break your eternal loving bond you and Zeus shared! And what stood out to me as so beautiful in your lovely, heartfelt tribute post was how you stayed FULLY PRESE T WITH ZEUS ‘and let NOTHING interfere with yiur tine together….right up u til his transition…you stayed fully present!! You made EVERY MOMENT with :-Zeus an ETERNAL MOMENT OF HAPPINESS, befitting Happy Boy Zeus!! And you gave him the gift of release that he knew you would when he showed you he was ready. He KNEW you loved him that much!!

    I have read every single word of every.post and have looked at every single photo. It is sooooo clear how much Zeus was @oved and soooo clear how HAPPY and JOYFUL he was!! I keep scrolling backnup to look at these photos if I find myself teary-eyed and I immediately get a huge warm fuzzy big huge grin across my heart!

    ZEUS, I made reference to your Mommy “writi g” this great post when, kf course, I know you did! And every si gle word you wrote bri gs us ALL comfort and brings everyone HOPE as they start this journey!! You jave proven by your example “It’s not the lyears in the life, but the life in the years!

    I know you are having a blast the the Bridge with all the new members…feeling soooo free and whole and HAPPY!! I know my Happy Hannah was one of sooo many greeting you with wheelbarrows of Snickerdoodles, bowls of ice cream and lots of “carrides” with the Angels over soft cushy clouds with fresh breezes blowing in your face!

    I’m glad you are watching over your brothers and your Mom! I cannot wait to hear what kinds of signs you are sending them!! PLEASE tell her to let us know how you’ve let her know you are still with them! After all, you can’t lose what’s never left you.

    And I looooove your nose print necklace you gave your Mom!! That, along with your quilt, will ALWAYS remind her you are with her!

    Thank you for the privilege of being in this jour ey with you AND for sharing some of the most GLORIOUSLY SPECTACULAR pictures from your family album! I bet your Mom has more to share…hint!

    Lots of love and hugs

    Sally and My Chunky Spiritual Being Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie

    • zubear

      Thank you so much- much more to come from ZuAngel and I sure hope he’s gobbling those wheelbarrows of snickerdoodles ❤️💕🐾🌺🎈

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